MASTERPIECE #2154

Jean-Léon Gérôme, French

"Psst!  I Know You Didn't Want Any Help, Your Majesty -- But You've Got the Letters To Play 'Chillax.'  AND It Would Be a Triple Word Score," 1862

Oil on panel

MASTERPIECE #2118

Edvard Munch, Norwegian

"Can You Guys Believe This?  My Dumb@$$ Mom Can't Figure Out How To Use the Debit Card Swiper Thingy," 1888

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2069

Louis Moeller, American

"I'm Warning You, Mildred.  Talk Sh*t About My Scones One More Time and I'll Break Your OTHER Hip," 1905

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2041

John MacLaren Barclay, British

"B*tch, I Know You Stole My Hat.  What the F?  Signed, Yankee Doodle," 1879

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1999

Alexandre Cabanel, French

Rachel Was Freaking Out.  Not Only Had Seth Just Dumped Her, the Jerk Did It By Ancient Text, 1879

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1978

Edmund Blair Leighton, British

Hannah's Dad, Acting Like He's Never Heard a Cardi B Song Before, 1896

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1965

Théophile Emmanuel Duverger, French

"It's Okay, Girls.  But I Think We've All Learned a Lesson About Name-Calling Today.  Where Did You Ever Hear of a Word Like 'Feckless' Anyway?," Before 1886

Oil on panel

MASTERPIECE #1910

John George Brown, American

"Dude, I Swear.  If You Sing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' One More Time, I'm Going To Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily Beat Your A** With This Oar," 1878

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1905

Adriaan de Lelie, Dutch

"Frankly, Young Lady, I Could Give a Rat's Ass How Gordon Ramsay Says I Should Make a Pancake.  Now I Suggest You Shut Up While You Still Have Enough Teeth Left To Eat It With," Between ca. 1790 and ca. 1810

Oil on panel

MASTERPIECE #1826

Francisco de Goya, Spanish

Yo, Painter Guy! What'd I Just Say? Get Off Your Ass and Clean Up Cookie's Boom-Boom," 1795

Oil on canvas

A PRICELESS CLASSIC (2016)

Edmund Blair Leighton, English

"Where the Hell is That Drawbridge Repairman?  They Said Between 8 and Noon," 1916

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1668

Marie-Gabrielle Capet, French

"Psst.  I'll Give You Fifty Bucks If You Paint 'Douche Nozzle' Across His Forehead," 1808

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1648

James Abbott McNeill Whistler, American

Oscars Seat Filler Busting Her Ass in Final Week of Training, 1871

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1632

Laurits Tuxen, Danish

"You Want to Take This Outside, Mr. Ambassador?  Or Are You Just Going to Sit There Like a Little Bitch?," 1906

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1552

Julian Ashton, English-Australian

"Damn It, No Gold AGAIN!  I Wonder if There's a Number for Tech Support on the Back," 1889

Oil on canvas on hardboard

MASTERPIECE #1543

Émile Bernard, French

"It's Your Call: Lie There and Cry Like a Spoiled Baby, Or Go Get Your Own F***ing Towel," 1887

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1323

William Quiller Orchardson, Scottish

Napoleon, Pissed That His Crew Keeps Calling Him "Bonerfarte," 1880

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1293

Hans Dahl, Norwegian

Ass, Gas, or Grass -- No One Rides For Free, 1878

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1262

Edmund Blair Leighton, English

Pioneer Woman Trying to Remember Where the F*** She Parked, 1918

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1176

Carl Bloch, Danish

Diners Annoyed at Asshat Who Won't Get Off His Phone, 1866

Oil on canvas