MASTERPIECE #2323

Charles Napier Hemy, English

"You're Right, Henry. We COULD Take the Strait of Magellan To the South Pacific, Take a Right at Tahiti, and Ride the Trade Winds Up To Borneo. Orrrr...We Could Just Stay Home and Order a Pizza. Your Call." 1877

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2311

John George Brown, American

"...But Luckily, the Captain Had a Spare Pair of Pants My Size. Anyway, Long Story Short, That's How It Became Known As the 'Poop' Deck," 1883

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2305

Thomas Somerscales, British

Climactic Chase Scene From Failed "Fast and the Furious" Spin-Off, "The Swift and the Seaworthy: North Sea Drift," 1921

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2291

Thomas Brooks, English

The Last Thing Collette Remembered Before Finding Herself in the Water Was a Hand on Her Shoulder and Somebody Shouting, "Take a Swim, Bitch!," 1870

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2253

Edmund Blair Leighton, British

"Here's What's Going to Happen, Nathaniel. You're Going To Smuggle 10 Kilos of Our Cocaine Onto the Mayflower Tomorrow, and Then Somehow Convince the Captain To Make a Pit Stop in Miami. We Clear?," Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2224

Carl Rasmussen, Danish

"This Has Been an Awesome Bonding Opportunity, Dad, But Next Year Can We Just Play Catch?," 1882

Oil on copper

MASTERPIECE #2221

Oscar Björck, Swedish

Oddly, It Never Occurred To the Thieves That It Might Be Easier To Steal the Boat By Going the Other Direction, 1884

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2217

Henry Scott Tuke, British

After a Long String of Losers, Sue Was Thrilled To Find a Guy Who Actually Had His Ship Together, 1883

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2193

Wilhelm Marstrand, Danish

"You Know What They Say, My Pirate Friends.  It's All Plundering and Whoring Until Someone Loses An Eye," 1865

Oil on plaster, mural

MASTERPIECE #2170

Léon Belly, French

"I'm Flattered, But You're Wasting Your Time, Ladies.  My Sail Blows To the Starboard Side, If You Know What I Mean," 1867

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2153

Rosa Bonheur, French

"Oh No -- There's a Giant Hole in the Bottom of the Boat.  We May Have To Abandon Sheep," 1863

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2122

Léon Belly, French

"Hold Up, Guys!  I Just Remembered -- This Boat Has an Engine.  Sorry, My Bad," 1877

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2030

Wada Eisaku, Japanese

"Mom, We've Been Standing Here For Two Hours and Haven't Seen a Thing.  Are You Sure Uber Even HAS Boats?," 1897

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2012

Mary Cassatt, American

Mother Deciding Once and For All They've Got to Find Closer Day Care, 1893

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1985

Christian Ruben, German

Columbus' Voyage, Day 287:  The Crew Spots a Starbucks, 1846

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1975

William Quiller Orchardson, Scottish

Housewife Receiving Delivery From GourdsToGo.com, 1874

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1966

Émile Friant, French

"Yes, We Could Keep Sailing Around Endlessly in This Boat.  Orrrr...You Could Go Back To Acting, Mr. Day-Lewis.  Just a Thought," 1895

Oil on panel

MASTERPIECE #1927

Edmund Leighton, British

"Yes, I Know I Said It Was a Yacht in My Profile, But YOU Said You Liked Surprises.  So Now Who's the Liar?," 1893

Oil on panel

MASTERPIECE #1910

John George Brown, American

"Dude, I Swear.  If You Sing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' One More Time, I'm Going To Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily Beat Your A** With This Oar," 1878

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1867

Karl von Blaas, Austrian

"We Swear, Odysseus!  We're Not Trying To Shipwreck You and Your Men.  We Just Need Help Opening a Jar," ca. 1882

Oil on canvas