MASTERPIECE #2161

Auguste Alexandre Hirsch, French

"Sorry.  I'd Let You Play It, But I Don't Think I Could Survive Having My Harp Broken Again," 1865

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2137

William Bouguereau, French

"Baby, I'm Thinking Let's Keep It Simple This Valentine's Day and Just Go Out to Dinner.  Preferably Some Place With a Casual Dress Code," 1850

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2136

Johannes Vermeer, Dutch

"It's Another Photo From Mr. Bezos, Ma'am.  It's Like the Others, But This Time He Got Creative With the Lighting," ca. 1667

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2121

William Holman Hunt, English

"My Parents Are Spending a Fortune on Our Wedding, So They Don't Want To Take Any Chances.  But Right After the Ceremony, the Leg Irons Come Off.  I Promise," 1850

Oil on mahogany wood or panel

MASTERPIECE #2099

Eugene von Blaas, Italian

"Hey Beautiful, I Think You're Gonna Need a Bigger Fan, Because You Are Lookin' Hot To-NIGHT!," 1889

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2098

William Holyoake, English

Suzanne's Heart Skipped a Beat When Ronald Caught Her Eye, But Unfortunately, the Stupid Monocle Was a Dealbreaker, ca. 1875

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2094

William Powell Frith, English

Randall's Movie Career Was Derailed By the Fact He Couldn't Get Through a Single Love Scene Without Looking at the Camera, 1875

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2091

Frederic George Stephens, English

"But Prithee, WHY Won't You Marry Me, My Dearest?  Is It Because I'm But a Lowly Woodcutter, Or Did I Lose You With the Unitard?," 1850

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2078

Anthony Frederick Sandys, English

After a Month Without a Single Match, Rick Was Forced To Admit That Including the Whip in His Dating Profile Photo Was a Tactical Error, 1883

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2033

Edmund Leighton, British

"I Brought You Here To Propose, Veronica, But This Waterfall's Really Making Me Have To Pee.  Rain Check?," 1901

Oil on panel

MASTERPIECE #2011

Edmund Blair Leighton, English

First Recorded "Row-By Breakup," 1891

Oil on panel

MASTERPIECE #1993

Dora Wahlroos, Finnish

"Twenty Kronor Says I Can Steal This Broad's Husband in Less Than Five Minutes.  Start the Clock," 1898

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1989

Marie Luplau, Danish

Susan B. Anthony Hosting a Suffragette Speed Dating Event, 1897

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1964

Pierre Jean van der Ouderaa, Belgian

Sir John of Cusackshire in "Sayeth Anything," 1894

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1950

Eugenio Lucas Villamil, Spanish

"Begging Your Pardon, Lady Chatsworth, But May I Inquire As To Whether You Have a Date For Prince Harry's Wedding?  Some Friends and I Are Renting One of Those Limos With a Hot Tub in the Back.  Swimsuits Optional," 1894

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1936

József Ferenczy, Hungarian

"Oh, Sis!  You're So Lucky You've Found 'The One.'  It Seems Like All the Good Men These Days Are Either Gay, Married, or in the Early Stages of Consumption," 1893

Oil on canvas 

MASTERPIECE #1933

Artúr Lajos Halmi, Hungarian

"Hey Mom, I'm About To Sing.  So Do You Think You Could Do Me a Favor and NOT Hit on the Painter For the Next Five Minutes?," 1893

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1913

Emilie Mundt, Danish

When After an Hour, Josh and Mildred's R-Rated Flirting Became Too Much To Bear, the Others Politely Suggested That They "Get a Room," ca. 1892

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1906

Franz Stuck, German

"Kiss You?  I Don't Think So.  And If You Continue With the Harassment, I Swear I'll Go Public With This," 1891

Oil on panel

MASTERPIECE #1875

Frans Wilhelm Odelmark, Swedish

Unfortunately, Greg Had Failed To Leave Himself Enough Time To Shower After Work.  Now He Just Had To Hope His Tinder Date Didn't Notice, 1880

Oil on canvas