Thursday, December 2, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2837


 













Johann Heinrich Kosakowsky, Russian

As He Sat Down in the Bathroom Stall, Ed Suddenly Realized That the Only Thing Worse Than a Cold Toilet Seat Is a Warm One, 1877

Oil on canvas 

Wednesday, December 1, 2021

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #1767 (8/27/17)

















Raden Saleh, Javanese

"It's a Lovely Anniversary Gift, Honey, But I Thought We'd Agreed We Weren't Doing Pheasants This Year," 1844

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, November 30, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2836


 













Workshop of Guercino, Italian

Portrait of the Famed Renaissance Artist Cléavaggio, ca. 1630-66

Oil on canvas

Monday, November 29, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2835

Johan Krouthén, Swedish

Of Course Bernard Could Have Just Removed That Atrocious Wallpaper Left By the Previous Owner, But Instead He Went With Plan B, 1886

Oil on canvas

Sunday, November 28, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2834

Jan Veth, Dutch

Unfortunately, the Sisters' Lactose Intolerance Was So Severe They Couldn't Even Say Cheese, 1885

Oil on canvas

Saturday, November 27, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2833

Laurits Andersen Ring, Danish

Happy 20th Anniversary, Hairy Potter!, 1890

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #639 (8/15/11)























Agustin Arrieta, Mexican

Mother Serving Her Famous Roast Turkey with Toothpaste Globs, 1833

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2832


 













Stanislav Feikl, Czechoslovak

"Hmm. I've Put On My Dress, Done My Hair, and Picked Out My Jewelry. But Darn It, I Feel Like I'm Forgetting Something," 1925

Oil on canvas

Monday, November 22, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2831

Kuzma Petrov-Vodkin, Russian

"Okay, Now We're Tied 1 To 1, and It's Your Turn to Ask Me a Trivia Question. But This Time If I Get It Wrong, I Have To Take Off My Shirt," 1935

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2830

Silvio Fernández Rodríguez-Bastos, Spanish

"No, the Pizza's Fine, Honey. I'm Just Still Trying To Figure Out How That Domino's Guy Got It Here in 30 Minutes," 1890

Oil on canvas

Thursday, November 18, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2829

Franz Stuck, German

Mara Had Hoped She and Her Date Might Find an Emotional Connection, But This Creep Was Nakedly Just Looking For a Little Tail, 1891

Oil on panel

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #1874 (1/29/18)























Edouard Quitton, Belgian

"So Were You Ever Planning To Tell Your Mother and Me You Were Stripping?  Or Were You Just Going To Wait Until We Opened This W-2?," 1884

Oil on oak

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2828


 













Titian, Italian

In Retrospect, Alfonso Really Wished the Date For His Official Portrait Sitting Had Fallen on a School Day, 1533

Oil on canvas

Monday, November 15, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2827


 













Charles Napier Kennedy, British

"You Do Realize, Young Lady, There Are Easier Ways To Huff Paint," 1898

Oil on canvas

Sunday, November 14, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2826


 










Michiel Sweerts, Flemish

"Look at the Schedule, Chief. The Artist Has Me Down For 2 O'Clock and You For 3. So Kindly Move Your A** and Take Your Pillow With You," ca. 1660-62

Oil on panel

Thursday, November 11, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2825

Carl Röchling, German

"Captain, These Three Soldiers Were Born With Feet Where Their Hands Should Be. So I Would Argue They Actually Belong in the Cavalry Division," 1890

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #789 (3/6/12)























Louis Gallait, Belgian

The Gorton's Fisherman, Breaking It to His Wife That He's Banging Mrs. Paul, 1848

Oil on panel

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2824


 













Louis-Edouard May, French

"Hi, It's Leg Day and I'm About To Do Some Power Squats. Would You Mind Spotting Me?," 1880

Oil on canvas

Monday, November 8, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2823










Nicolas Adolphe Weber, German

"Excuse Me Boys, I Think You Have the Wrong Room. I Requested a Wake-Up Choir for SEVEN a.m.," 1867

Oil on canvas

Sunday, November 7, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2822

Samuel Edmund Waller, British

Going Through the Drive-Thru Window at In-N-Oats, 1891

Oil on canvas

Thursday, November 4, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2821


 













Laura Theresa Epps Alma-Tadema, British

Annoyed, Hayley Wished Jeff Had Briefed Himself on the Female Anatomy BEFORE They Got to the Honeymoon Suite, Date Unknown

Oil on panel

Wednesday, November 3, 2021

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #1143 (2/1/15)























Arthur Hughes, English

Realizing She Just Sent That Nude Selfie to the Entire F***ing Office, Before 1901

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2820

Raphaelle Peale, American

After a Long Day in the Fruit Bowl, Clementine Liked To Un-Rind With a Good Book, 1815

Oil on panel

Monday, November 1, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2819










Archibald Archer, British

"Considering We 'Borrowed' Them From the Parthenon, Of Course We COULD Just Give Them Back. But I'd Love To See What We Can Get For Them on Craigslist First," 1819

Oil on canvas

Sunday, October 31, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2818


 













Joseph Dorn, German

"Great Job. Now Could You Give Me One 8x10, a Couple of 5x7s, and 10 Wallet-Size? I'll Wait," 1832

Oil on panel

Thursday, October 28, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2817


 













Daniel Gardner, British

"I Had To Improvise a Bit With This Year's Witches' Brew, Ladies. Whole Foods Ran Out of Pumpkin Spice Eye of Newt," 1775

Gouache and chalk on paper

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #1847 (12/14/17)













Jules Arsène Garnier, French

"You Know, I'm Going To Go Out On a Limb and Guess That Your Husband DOES Check Your Texts," 1876

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2816


 













Adriaan de Lelie and Willem van Leen, Dutch

In His Advanced Age Nathaniel's Eyesight Had Begun To Fail, But Luckily He Hadn't Lost His Herring, 1815

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2815

Jacques-Louis David, French

Leonidas Making Mental Note To Take His Sweet Time When Re-Sheathing His Sword, 1814

Oil on canvas

Sunday, October 24, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2814

Frans Vervloet, Belgian

"My Apologies For Breaking Wind at the Table, Folks. I'm Just Going To Go Burn My Pants and This Chair and I'll Be Back For Dessert," 1816

Oil on panel

Thursday, October 21, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2813

Jean-Claude Bonnefond, French

"Bro, You HAVE To Tell Me Where You Found These Shoes. They're Soooooo Cute."

"I Know, Right? 70% Off at Fet Locker. And They Also Have an Awesome Bridle Department," 1822

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #865 (8/6/12)













Louis Leopold Boilly, French

Not What I Thought You Meant When You Said You Were Inviting Some Chicks Over For a Pool Party, 1807

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2812


 













Keeley Halswelle, English

Well, This Was Awkward. Ellie Couldn't Tell If Her Parents Were Having Sex in There Or Just Trying To Move the Sofa, 1864

Oil on canvas

Monday, October 18, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2811

Yehuda Pen, Russian/Soviet Lithuanian

Early TikTok Video, From Back When the App Was Mostly Timepiece Repair Tutorials, 1924

Oil on canvas

Sunday, October 17, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2810


 













Jean-Eugène-Charles Alberti, Dutch

Legendary Roman Gladiator Gaius Gluteus Maximus (Son of Shartacus), 1808

Oil on canvas 

Thursday, October 14, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2809


 













Joseph Denis Odevaere, Southern Netherlandish

For the Past Year, Trevor Had Been Going To a Therapist For His Dyslexia. Or At Least That's What He THOUGHT the Sign on the Door Said, 1805

Oil on canvas

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #1279 (8/17/2015)














Gustave Caillebotte, French

"One Day, Sweetheart, All This Will Be Yours.  Pending the Outcome of the SEC Investigation, Of Course," 1875

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2808

André Brouillet, French

If Dracula Had Been Transylvania Dutch, 1888

Oil on canvas

Monday, October 11, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2807

Jean-Simon Berthélemy/Jean-Baptiste Mauzaisse, French

"Here You Go, Dude. It's Called 'Fire.' It'll Come in Handy When You're Cooking Your Food, Lighting Your Villages, and Requesting Encores at Fleetwood Mac Concerts," 1802/re-painted in 1826

Oil on canvas

Sunday, October 10, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2806

Francis Sydney Muschamp, British

"What Are You in the Mood For, Polly? Squawkmaninoff, John Cage, or a little Béla Birdtálk?," 1896

Oil on canvas

Thursday, October 7, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2805

Artist Unknown

"Yeah, I Might Have Overdone It With the Fertilizer On My Portabello Mushrooms This Year," 1799

Watercolor on paper

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2804

Thomas Christian Wink, German

"With All Due Respect, When It Comes To Affordable Housing, You're More Like Alexander the Meh," 1782

Oil on copper

Tuesday, October 5, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2803


Wilhelm von Kobell, German

Now That the Field Had Gotten Plowed, Father Figured It Was His Turn, 1800

Watercolor

Monday, October 4, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2802


 













William-Adolphe Bouguereau, French

That Creepy Mom Who Breastfeeds Her Kids Until They're 8, 1871

Oil on canvas

Thursday, September 30, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2801

Charles Spencelayh, English

The Painting That Got Steven Spielberg Cancelled, 1931

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #2800










Angelica Kauffmann, British

"Okay, Let's Try Not To Make the Same Mistake You Made With the Last Girl. Remember, Don't Bring Up the Topic of Your Crushing Student Loan Debt Until At Least the Second Date," 1790

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2799

Jacob Philipp Hackert, German

"Ahoy, Good Sir! I Have Traveled From Afar in Search of Rare and Valuable Treasure. In My Case, a Pair of Pants With a 50-Inch Inseam," 1794

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, September 28, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2798

Elias Martin, Swedish

Kevin Suddenly Realized There'd Been a Terrible Mistake. What Did This Have To Do With Data Entry? Yes, Starting Tomorrow, He Was Definitely Going To Have To Look For a New Temp Agency, 1782

Oil on canvas

Monday, September 27, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2797

Edward Poynter, British

"Noooooo! I'm Begging You, Orpheus. Please Don't Make Me Go Watch Your Band Play Again" 1862

Oil on canvas

Sunday, September 26, 2021

MASTERPIECE #2796


T.H. Matteson, American

"Fellow Members, In Light of Your Vote of No Confidence, I Hereby Resign as Head of the Diversity Committee," 1857

Oil on canvas