Thursday, June 22, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1736























Artist Unknown, Lower Bavarian

Jesus Making a Sale at His Medical Marijuana Dispensary, 1838

Fresco

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1735

















Franz Xaver Winterhalter, German

Portrait of a Woman Breastfeeding While Everyone Else Desperately Tries To Look Busy, 1837

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1734















Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld, German

Butter Sculpture of the House of Habsburg, 1838

Oil on canvas

Monday, June 19, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1733


















Adriaan Wulffaert, Dutch

"Have Fun Tonight Honey, But Remember the Rule:  No Sex Tape Until the Third Date," 1838

Oil on panel

Sunday, June 18, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1732























Anna Borrel, French

"Wait.  Before You Say Anything -- I'm Sorry I Had Your Footman Executed, But I Warned Him to Stop Calling Me 'Conehead,'" 1837

Oil on canvas

Thursday, June 15, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1731



















Ferdinand Bol, Dutch

"Happy Father's Day!  I Know You Wanted One of Those Echo Personal Assistants, But This Was the Closest Thing They Had," 1646

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1730























Constantin Hansen, Danish

The Amazing Dmitri, X-Rated Ventriloquist, 1845

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1729




















Marcos Chillitupa Chávez, Peruvian

Opening Titles of the Classic 1470s Sitcom, "The Incan Bunch," 18th century

Oil on panel

Monday, June 12, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1728


















Jan Hendrik van Grootvelt, Dutch

"I Strongly Recommend You Get That Hand Off My Shoulder Before I Go All Wonder Woman on Your A**," 1837

Oil on panel

Sunday, June 11, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1727
















Constantin Hansen, Danish

"Heads Up!  Spider!," 1878

Oil on canvas

Thursday, June 8, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1726


















Benjamin Heinrich Orth, German

19th Century Folk Rock Supergroup Crosby, Stills & Neckbeard, 1835

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1725
















Friedrich Wilhelm Moritz, Swiss

"Excuse Me -- This Is Probably a Longshot, But Is There a Chase ATM Around Here?," 1831

Watercolor

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1724



















François Joseph Heim, French

"Wait, Everybody.  Without Uniforms, This Is Way Too Confusing.  We're Going To Have To Do Shirts Vs. Skins," 1834

Oil on canvas

Monday, June 5, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1723























Louis Hersent, French

France's Queen Maria Amalia and Sons, Moments Before the Tragic Meteor Strike, 1835

Oil on canvas

Sunday, June 4, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1722






















Herbert James Draper, British

"Luckily He's Perfectly Fine, But I Can't Believe Amazon Didn't Send This In Bubble Wrap," 1900

Oil on canvas

Thursday, June 1, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1721

















Carl Oesterley, German

"I Can't Believe All Three of Us Wore Brown and Blue.  Guys, Do Me a Favor and Text Me Before You Get Dressed Tomorrow," 1833

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1720















Robert T. Barrett, American

"Covfefe.  C-O-V-F-I... No, Wait... C-O-V-E-F-... 

I'm Sorry.  Can You Please Use It in an Unintelligible Partial Tweet?," 1949

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1719























Adolf Schmidt, German

Woman Trying to Remember What the Heck She Did With Her Hemorrhoid Pillow, 1834

Oil on canvas

Monday, May 29, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1718






















Carl Julius Milde, German

Pastor Johann Rautenberg and Family, the Day Their WiFi Went Down, 1833

Watercolor on paper

Thursday, May 25, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1717





















Michele de Napoli, Italian

"Sir, We've Confiscated All the Enemy's Gold, Their Horses, and Their Weapons, But Unfortunately This Is All They Had in the Way of Toilet Paper.  Can You Hold It Until We Get Back to Rome?," Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1716























Anthony VanArsdale, American

Pope Francis, Politely Waiting For Trump To Finish His Tweet Before Shaking His Hand, 2013

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1715
















Ludwig August Most, Polish

That Time Grandma Lost Her Train of Thought in the Middle of a Story and We All Just Sat There For Like 10 Minutes, 1845

Oil on canvas

Monday, May 22, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1714




















Ludwig August Most, Polish

"So I'm Halfway Through Building It When I Realize It's Missing Parts.  That's the Last Time I Buy a Wagon Wheel From IKEA," 1830

Oil on canvas

Sunday, May 21, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1713























Ludwig August Most, Polish

When "Creepy Ed" Showed Up With Flowers for the Fifth Day in a Row, Sheila Realized She Should Probably Start Looking at Second-Story Apartments, 1850

Oil on canvas

Thursday, May 18, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1712






















Gerard ter Borch, Dutch

"Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture" (page 251), 1673

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1711











John William Waterhouse, British

"Ohhh, I Get It, Odysseus.  You're Into the Whole "50 Shades" Bondage Thing.  We Can Work With That, Right Girls?," 1891

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1710


















Joseph Bergler the Younger, Austrian

"Sorry to Interrupt, Sir, But Your Dad's on the Phone.  Something About Not Being Able To Find the Remote For the Pearly Gates," 1822

Oil on canvas

Monday, May 15, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1709















Arthur Perigal the Elder, English

Prom Photo Taken With World's Longest Selfie Stick, 1828

Oil on canvas

Sunday, May 14, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1708























Louis-Léopold Boilly, French

"I'm Warning You, Travis.  Interrupt the Story Again and I'm Going to Shove This Shawl Where the Sun Don't Shine," 1824

Oil on canvas

Thursday, May 11, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1707























Anna Kirstine Ancher, Danish

The Artist's Mother, Working On Her "I'm Not Angry, Just Disappointed" Face, 1913

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1706























Eugénie Servières, French

"No Lancelot, I Can Not 'Score You a Couple Condoms.'  But the CVS in South Camelot Is Open 24 Hours," Before 1855

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1705


















Jacques-Laurent Agasse, Swiss

"Right Now I'm Offering Zero Down With No Interest For the First Six Months.  Or We Can Talk About Getting You Into a Lease," 1822

Oil on canvas

Monday, May 8, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1704















Louis-François Cassas, French

"Of Course I'd Love to Live Here Forever, But 'His Majesty' Wants to Flip It and Downsize to a Condo," 1822

Watercolor on paper

Sunday, May 7, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1703


















Eugénie Servières, French

"No Honey, I Can't Watch the Kids.  I've Got 2 Inquisitions, Hernando de Soto's Performance Review, and a Codpiece Fitting," 1822

Oil on canvas

Thursday, May 4, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1702























Joseph Denis Odevaere, Flemish

Brochure for the Law Offices of Westingham, Morris & Some Dead Guy, LLC, 1805

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1701

















Johannes Jelgerhuis, Dutch

"I'm Sorry, Sir.  I'm Afraid I've Never Heard of a Book Called "Eat, Pray, Love."  Are You SURE It's By Dickens?," 1820

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1700























Johann Heinrich Wilhelm Tischbein, German

"Okay, I Get It -- You're Upset That I Cheated on You With Your Best Friend.  But Let's Not Let It Ruin Our Anniversary," 1819

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1699


















William Etty, British

"Dude!  What Part of 'Tie on the Doorknob' Did You Not Understand?," 1820

Oil on canvas

Sunday, April 30, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1698























Jean-Baptiste Regnault, French

Not What Aphrodite Had in Mind When Paris Said He Was Getting Her Something From the Apple Store, 1820

Oil on canvas

Thursday, April 27, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1697























Carl Frederik von Breda, Swedish

Charlotte, Suddenly Sensing Her Date's Getting Annoyed That She's Been Doing All the Talking, 1811

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1696























François Gérard, French

Family Reacting to God's Epic Fart, 1819

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1695
















Johann Christoph Erhard, German

Axe Murderer Taking a Break To Write in His Diary, 1819

Watercolor

Monday, April 24, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1694

















Juan Antonio Ribera, Spanish

"Wait!  Before You Kill Me, Let Me Just See Who's at the Door.  I'm Expecting Some Stuff From Amazon," 1819

Oil on canvas

Sunday, April 23, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1693























José Mariá Arango, Spanish

When You Start To Wave at a Friend and Then Realize It's Just a Mirror, 1819

Oil on canvas

Thursday, April 20, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1692























V.P. Mokhnachev, Russian

Listen Grandpa, I Didn't Want To Be the One To Tell You, But I Think You've Been Using That Hammer Backwards," 1818

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1691

















Charles de Steuben, French

"Okay, Before We Start Marching, By Show of Hands, Who Needs to Use the Restroom?," 1818

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1690















Ferdinand Georg Waldmüller, Austrian

"I Say You Were Right to Dump Him, Allison.  Hey -- If He Liked It, He Should've Put a Ring On It," 1818

Oil on canvas

Monday, April 17, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1689























Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld, German

"I Checked with God About the Facebook Thing.  He Says If There's Not an Option for 'Having a Supreme Being's Child By Virgin Birth,' You Should Just Say 'It's Complicated,'" 1818

Oil on canvas

Sunday, April 16, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1688

















Nicolas-André Monsiau, French

Alexander the Great Spoiling the Ending of "The Fate of the Furious" for Diogenes, 1818

Oil on canvas

Thursday, April 13, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1687





















Henry Herbert La Thangue, English

That Year the Easter Bunny Didn't Come So We Had to Hunt for Goose Droppings, 1901

Oil on canvas