Thursday, December 14, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1847













Jules Arsène Garnier, French

"You Know, I'm Going To Go Out On a Limb and Guess That Your Husband DOES Check Your Texts," 1876

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1846























Eugène Romain Thirion, French

"Joan of Arc, God Has Chosen You To Lead the Armies of France Against the English.  No Offense, But the Truth Is We Needed a Diversity Hire," 1876

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1845














Édouard Manet, French

"Sorry, Sweetheart.  They Said the Boat Would Be Tied To the Shore.  How's Your Standing Broad Jump?," 1874

 Oil on canvas

Monday, December 11, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1844



















Pierre-Auguste Renoir, French

"You Know, Julia, I’d Really Love It If We Could See Each Other Again.  And Hopefully Next Time, in Slightly More Detail," 1875

Oil on canvas

Sunday, December 10, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1843























Otto Piltz, German

As Noon Inexorably Approached, Edith Made a Silent Vow To Never Again Come To Work With a Hangover, 1875

Oil on canvas

Thursday, December 7, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1842























Albert Anker, Swiss

Santa's Accountant Stumbling Upon Multimillion-Dollar "Nice List"-Fixing Scheme, 1874

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1841
















Paolo Antonio Barbieri, Italian

Team Pharmacist Whipping Up Breakfast For Russian Olympic Bobsled Team, 1637

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1840















Gustave Doré, French

"Welcome To the 9th Circle of Hell.  Looks Just Like the 8th Circle, But There's No Vegetarian Dinner Option and the WiFi Sucks," 1861

Oil on canvas

Monday, December 4, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1839























Berthold Woltze, German

"What Does Daddy Mean, He's Been 'Unfaithful'?  And What's a Massage Therapist?," Before 1896

Oil on canvas

Sunday, December 3, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1838














Julius Arthur Thiele, German

"Hey, Look at Us -- Three Bucks.  Like What I Paid Your Mom Last Night, Blitzen." 1874

Oil on canvas

Thursday, November 30, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1837

















Haynes King, British

"Oh, That's Okay -- We Can Skip the Weapons Pat-Down This Time.  That's Really Just a First Date Thing With Me," 1874

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1836























Richard Caton Woodville, Sr., American

"Yes!  Matt Lauer!  I Have Him in My Office's Inappropriate Sexual Conduct Pool!," 1848

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1835













Jules Tavernier, French

"Excuse Me Gentlemen, I'm a Little Rusty on My Hot-Air Balloon Etiquette.  Should I Be Peeing Off the Port or the Starboard Side?," 1875

Oil on canvas

Monday, November 27, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1834















Ludwig Thiersch, German

"Well, It's Too Bad About Your Grandmother.  But Who Doesn't Know Not To Stand Up in a Boat?," 1874

Oil on canvas

Sunday, November 26, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1833






















Jean-Baptiste Regnault, French

The Three Graces Playing in the Mount Olympus Touch Football League, 1793

Oil on canvas

Thursday, November 23, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1832

















Charles West Cope, British

"Forsooth, It Truly Is a Black Friday, M'Lord.  I've Tried Three Different Best Buys, and They're All Out of 4K TV's," 1872

Oil on panel

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1831
















N.C. Wyeth, American

"Now Before I Serve the Second Course, Does Anyone Have Any Maize Allergies?," 1940

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1830



















Giorgio Soleri, Italian

The Duke of Savoy, Jamming on the Bass, 1601

Oil on canvas

Monday, November 20, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1829



















Giorgione, Italian

Joseph Couldn't Help Wondering Why the "Son of God" Was the Spitting Image of the Mailman, 1502

Oil on panel

Sunday, November 19, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1828























Berthold Woltze, German

Chloe Was Faced With a Quandary: Did She Go With the Classic "Sorry, I've Got a Boyfriend," or Skip Right To the Pepper Spray?, 1874

Oil on canvas

Thursday, November 16, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1827

















Pieter Aertsen, Flemish

Woman Flipping the Bird Behind Husband's Back, 1550

Oil on oak

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1826






















Francisco de Goya, Spanish

Yo, Painter Guy! What'd I Just Say? Get Off Your Ass and Clean Up Cookie's Boom-Boom," 1795

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1825

Francois-Andre Vincent, French

Alexander the Great Judging "The Entire Known Western World's Next Top Model," 1789

Oil on canvas

Monday, November 13, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1824


















Johann Peter Hasenclever, German

Brad's Once-Promising Legal Career Was Hampered By His Tendency To Get Aroused By Public Speaking, 1840

Oil on canvas

Sunday, November 12, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1823
















Aleksander Gierymski, Polish

Qualifying Round For 1st Annual Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship (Eastern European Bracket), 1874

Oil on canvas

Thursday, November 9, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1822























Rudolf Karl Gottfried Geissler, German

"You Children Don't Know How Good You Have It.  When I Was Your Age, We Had No Cars, No Modern Medicine, and Tweets Could Only Be 140 Characters Long," 1866

Oil on wood

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1821























Adolf Reich, Austrian

"...and You Can See What I Did Here With the Shorter Brush Strokes...Um, Mr. Weinstein?...Excuse Me, Mr. Weinstein?...," Before 1963

Oil on panel

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1820














Louise Abbéma, French

One Concussion Later, Henry Had Learned That It's Best Not To Talk During Eleanor's Backswing, 1872

Oil on canvas

Monday, November 6, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1819
















David Bles, Dutch

The Answer To The Question:  What If An Entire Family Had ADD?, 1869

Oil on oak panel

Sunday, November 5, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1818
















Alfred Provis, British

"Don't Worry, Eddie.  He's Got To Poop Eventually.  And Then You'll Be Able To Get Your Earbuds Back," 1872

Oil on canvas

Thursday, November 2, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1817


















John Phillip, Scottish

"Prithee, Dear Colleagues, Let Us Return To the Matter at Hand:  Are Selena and Justin Truly Back Together, or Are They In Fact 'Just Good Friends'?  I Move For a Vote," 1863

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1816


















Friedrich Ritter von Friedländer-Malheim, Bohemian-Austrian

"Oh, What the Hell.  Let's Have Another Round.  We're All Ubering Anyway,"Before 1901

Oil on panel

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1815























Jehan Georges Vibert, French

Wondering If It's a Faux Pas To Wear Pumpkin After Halloween, Before 1870

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1814























Bartolome Esteban Murillo, Spanish

Jesus (Right) and John the Baptist, Who's Going As Jesus For Halloween, 1655

Oil on canvas

Monday, October 30, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1813























João Zeferino da Costa, Brazilian

God Yelling at Moses For Printing the Commandments in Comic Sans, 1868

Oil on canvas

Thursday, October 26, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1812














Philip Hermogenes Calderon, British

Satan Working Children's Parties Before Landing the Underworld Gig, 1868

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1811























Martín Tovar y Tovar, Venezuelan

"Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture (Page 312)," 1874

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1810

















Friedrich Ritter von Friedländer-Malheim, Bohemian-Austrian

Bill Clinton, Making Good Use of His New Nursing Degree, 1870

Oil on panel

Monday, October 23, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1809
















Carolus-Duran, French

Portrait of a Restaurant Health Code Violation, 1870

Oil on canvas

Sunday, October 22, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1808
















Géza Dosa, Hungarian

"What the --?  This Doesn't Look Like Outback's Takeout Menu.  Where Are the Kookaburra Wings?," 1869

Oil on canvas

Thursday, October 19, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1807


















Lajos Bruck, Hungarian

Cover Shoot For This Month's Issue of "Modern Street Urchin" Magazine, 1870

Oil on canvas

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1806
















Friedrich Ritter von Friedländer-Malheim, Bohemian-Austrian

"It's Okay, Dad.  Lots of People Accidentally Put $95 Million Winning Powerball Tickets Through the Dryer,"Before 1901

Oil on panel

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1805















Enoch Wood Perry, Jr., American

Ernest J. Farnsworth, the Grim Reaper's Equipment Manager, 1868

Oil on canvas

Monday, October 16, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1804























Wojciech Gerson, Polish

"I'm Just Saying, Before You Do Something Rash, You Might Want To Consider Couples Counseling," 1869

Oil on canvas

Sunday, October 15, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1803























Marc-Charles-Gabriel Gleyre, Swiss

Nanny Wondering What's the Polite Way To Ask Your Boss If She's Familiar With the Concept of a Robe, 1868

Oil on canvas

Thursday, October 12, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1802














Marc-Charles-Gabriel Gleyre, Swiss

What Men Think REALLY Goes On At Bachelorette Parties, 1849

Oil on canvas

MASTERPIECE #1801



















Edward Poynter, British

Sextus Marcellus Hated When the Roman Army Hired Temps, Because He Always Got Stuck With the Weirdos, 1868

Oil on canvas

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1800























Carlos Esquivel y Rivas, Spanish

Alaric II, King of the Visigoths, Stung By the Times' Bad Review of His Sack of Rome, 1856

Oil on canvas

Monday, October 9, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1799














Jean-Léon Gérôme, French

Okay, So It Wasn't the New York City Ballet, But To Heather, All Those Years at Juilliard Were Still Totally Worth It,
1863

Oil on panel

Sunday, October 8, 2017

MASTERPIECE #1798
















Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze, German-American

King Henry VIII Pulling a Harvey Weinstein,
1846

Oil on canvas